Overcoming Fear and Living your Dreams
What follows are some suggestions I sent to a friend of mine in response to her request for some thoughts of wisdom. She was having difficulties making a transition in jobs. She also had some unresolved stress-related issues and fears. Hopefully, if you are facing any personal difficulties, you may find comfort in the reading.
Firstly, as you are aware, your perception is your reality. If you believe “my life is in a rut” then that is your truth. You will attract more things in your life that fit with this perception. It is important for you to recognize this and alter your thought pattern. “I love doing _________ (fill in the blank” “I am making my dream career come true” “I love myself and can have anything I want”. These are examples of thoughts that will help you. When you find yourself thinking things such as “I am afraid”, “My job stinks” and “I don’t have enough money and all these bills”; Stop, breathe and redirect your thoughts to the positive. The more you can focus on the positive and feel the emotion of it, the faster these things will come to you. Practice visualizing your dreams and how it feels to have them. It gives power to the thought and makes it happen faster.
A good exercise which I have been practicing (comes from Abraham through Esther Hicks - you may remember her from The Secret) is to take a piece of paper and write down something you want, maybe it’s to have your dream home, that job you always wanted or more money. Now make a list of the reasons you want this and how it feels (stay positive, don’t focus on getting negative things out of your life - you want to avoid thinking about troublesome things). Here are some ideas;
- I want to be able to help people because it makes me feel good
- I want the comfort of greater wealth
- I enjoy how it feels working on someone to help them
- I love the joy and satisfaction of a client who has been helped
whatever this is for you.
Now make a second list which describes why you think you will have this. Some possible examples:
- Because I am very talented at what I do
- I work hard at my studies or job to get better
- People respect and appreciate me
- I am ready for this to come into my life
Use these lists as a study guide for yourself. Spend 20-30 minutes thinking, and more importantly, feeling the good emotions that come from visualizing these possibilities. Imagine they are already in your life. Now make another list with something else you want. For me, visualizing, writing, and speaking out loud always make things happen faster.
As for dealing with the fear you face: I think it is profound enough for you that you need to make a strong effort to overcome it. You have already identified the important first step which is to recognize that it exists. Now you need to be able to accept and release whatever it is causing the fear. This often takes more work, and happens much faster, when working with another person. My suggestion is for you to decide if you are ready to work through it. If you say “yes” then act and demonstrate you are willing to do that. Find someone to help you. Do some research in order to locate a counselor, psychologist, life coach or other type of therapist that can help you deal with the specific issue. Take the leap and go see them. Most serious issues in our lives stem from some profound or traumatic experience. It is often hard to see what this is, but much easier for a professional to help us see it. There are very talented people that heal for a living. Embrace them.
All that being said, judging yourself harshly never helps. One thing I have learned is that when I make mistakes, it is important to recognize what it is and let it go. In my nightly prayers, I often look back on my day and see something that I don’t like about myself. I said or did something that isn’t a part of the person I am choosing to be. I look at it, determine why it doesn’t fit with who I am, and say something like “Rodney, you really screwed up, why would you say something like that? Why did you do that? It’s ok, I forgive you. You are loved. I recognize it now and won’t act like that again. And if I do, I will forgive myself the next time too. In some cases I feel that I need to make amends to have resolution and I do that; maybe it’s an apology, maybe it’s something else. Self-forgiveness may be the single most important thing that provides me with happiness and confidence in my life. The more you do it, the more you find that you don’t have to do it. It begins to flow naturally and you find yourself reinforcing positive aspects of your being.
Hope this helps. Smile, you have every reason to. You are a beautiful woman beginning a career that will provide you with endless joy.